Food Digest

I’m out of lunchmeat to make a sandwich, so I ventured into the freezer and came out with this — an Eating Right frozen meal called “fiesta chicken.” And boy, was it ever a fiesta. I actually crushed up some corn tortilla chips and drizzled them on top, as if they were oyster crackers on tomato soup. Not bad, actually. The chicken cubes were a little rubbery, but what do you expect?

Look disgusting? Well, you’re right.

I was working late and had a strange craving for one of those microwavable french bread pizza things. Stopped at 7-Eleven, and they didn’t have anything. So then I came home, hoping that for some reason there’d be some of those pizza roll things in the freezer. No luck. But, on a similar level of gross, I found this insanely freezer-burned Banquet meal (the kind that cost $1 at the grocery store).

I can’t believe I hadn’t eaten this until now! Chicken fried beefsteak with mashed potatoes and corn. Listen, I was hungry. (Wasn’t that Dahmer’s excuse, though, too?)

I can’t wait until the Missus comes home. She’ll return tomorrow. That means no more of these shitty microwaved meals. This one’s entitled “Classic Meat Loaf,” and it’s made by the Healthy Choice company. It’s got some corn and some mashed potatoes and gravy and, for dessert, the fancy-sounding apple cranberry multigrain crisp.

And a whole lot of sadness.